Saturday, June 29, 2013

Update (11 months post TT)

Please forgive me for my absence.  I truly appreciate all those that sent me messages inquiring about my health and well-being.  It is funny how the anonymity of online correspondence can be quite comforting when dealing with an illness.  It is as if the closest people to you can't grasp the full gravity of what is happening to you because he or she sees you everyday and either can't or refuses to acknowledge your reality.  But, in an online environment, my words are my truths and I am accepted and cared for. I am forever grateful for the thoughts that were sent my way.

Now, for the update:

I had a horrible time during the initial months after surgery.  There were a number of things that I didn't expect to happen.  First,  I didn't expect the anger I felt about having an unnecessary surgery.  I realize that the doctors were doing what they thought was best, but there must be another way.  Second, all of the issues that come along with being Hypo hit me like a dump truck.  I started to gain weight, the depression sat on me constantly, my ability to have conversations and concentrate disappeared.  I thought I would begin to take steps forwards after surgery, but instead I found myself taking steps backwards.  I was once again, ill. I had to take the semester off from school, which really put me down in the dumps.  That was one of the things that I held onto that made me feel as though I was beating this thing.  I had to acknowledge that I was different and though being humbled builds incredible character, I just didn't want to be humbled yet again with limitations.  Another thing came about, which made me stop blogging.  I had become the thyroid girl.  I would bring it up in all my conversations.  I carried it with me wherever I went.  I was consumed with all things thyroid.  I was becoming an extremist.  Disclaimer:  I think we all should be extremist when it comes to our health, but in all things, there must be a balance.  I needed to take a break and find me again, so I did and the journey has been painful and refreshing. 

Enough of that, here is how I got better (not quite back to me, but close).  

1.  I got off of the Levothyroxine and switched to Synthroid.  I also added Cytomel. (Synthroid 100MCG, Cytomel 50MCG) - I really feel like I need to try an Armour or Naturethroid.  I'll keep you posted.

2.  I revamped my diet again.  I do still eat a paleo diet the majority of the time and will be starting a Whole 30 at the beginning of July.  I plan to blog about it. 

3.  I got to sleep.  There is no need for an explanation.  It is a process and it doesn't always happen, but I consciously make an effort to sleep at least 6 hours.  

5.  I have just added yoga and learning to listen to my body.  For years, I thought it was a bunch of nonsense, but I can't do what I use to do.  I live off of manufactured energy provided by the 2 pills I take every day.  I need to aid my body with meditation and breathing.  I need to be mindful in all that I surround myself around - I'm about to go on a tangent, but I am learning to listen and breathe, which is awesome for someone like myself.

That's it!  

Someone sent me a message asking me if I felt that the TT (total thyroidectomy) was the right choice and I couldn't answer the question in a straight manner, but now that I think about it I would have to say that it isn't and wasn't the best choice for me.  You see, I NEVER had bad labs, except for the Hashimoto's antibodies of course.  Yes, I had a nodule that was suspicious and they couldn't get a definite answer, but now, especially with the way the world is going, I often think about what happens when I can't get my medication.  I think about all that my body is missing.  Every cell in your body uses the thyroid hormone and I depend on synthetic medication to do something that it really can never do fully.  Of course, if one has cancer the answer is quite simple and that is to remove the thyroid, but in the numerous cases of individuals like myself we are constantly told that medication will make us whole again and that is simply not true.  

Bye for now.  Below is a picture of how my neck looks now. You can barely see the scar.